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One Day All This Will End

by Svalbard

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1.
Perspective 05:06
Disintegration lurks ahead The downfall is imminent. How deep can you sew the heart upon your sleeve Just to blend with the trend of negativity? How much of this sadness is just a requirement To allude to the myth of “conviction”? Stop crowning those tears with meaning Wearing a frown is so easy So obvious. It takes more strength to pull yourself above In dignified silence Without the audacity to assume that your pain is significant. because disintegration lurks ahead In a landslide that is not selective It doesn’t matter if you have heart All good, all evil, falls apart. And for all the time you’re wasting Acting in tragedies So full of sound and fury Signifying nothing One day your life will suffer the fate Of irreversible damage And when you truly fall apart Is when you’re going to miss this. One day your life will suffer the fate Of irreversible damage And when you truly fall apart Is when you gain perspective. One day all this will end.
2.
Transfixed upon the imperfections Every rough edge of the presentation I can pick apart all of my reasons But still i can not rise above them. Have you always been so perfect? Always known how to play the game? It’s starting to look that way Your construct leaves no human trace And in the ditch of your path i lay. Nothing is coming together Just fragmenting over and over I need to stop putting my pen to paper Lest i need one more hopeless reminder One more portrait of a person Who has failed to grow in any direction. Resenting my petty resentments Never truly alive in the moment My eyes keep glaring inward If only looks could kill my thoughts So preoccupied with my escape That i have become always away But all i’m packing are my doubts And a broken heart i can’t take out. It’s so easy to fake the happiness now To watch each other wield those smiles Throwing people off the scent Of years of futility and discontent. There’s so much disparity Between the perfect image and the empty reality Ask what does it matter Not what does it mean When you can have all the answers But they will push you deeper in Circles Endless, pointless circles.
3.
Like a candle in daylight Just a useless burning And a lost light. Like a finger on a dying pulse I can feel you drift To the vanishing point. Why am i prioritising this When no one fucking else is? Carrying the deadweight To places they can’t appreciate. More fool me For taking this seriously When the jokers always win When to be a lucky moron is all it takes to succeed We are one group divided Into two categories: Those who work to make things happen And those who are leeching off the back of them. And i am trying not to be jaded I am trying to hold onto hope But every little step of progress Gets destroyed in a single moment. And had i not invested so much energy and heart Then i wouldn’t be so bitter And i wouldn’t be so hurt. And had i not have loved this While you could merely flirt Then i wouldn’t have cared when it died And i wouldn’t be wishing it worked.
4.
I’m sorry I didn’t realise that it needs explaining? Maybe what you should be asking Is why you feel the need To question me. Is 50% a minority? Is my credibility an anomaly? How dare you treat this like a novelty Your approval doesn't mean shit to me. I long for the day when it isn’t mentioned I long for the day when it isn’t questioned. Why must it be highlighted Like it makes a difference Must you be so ignorant That this is all you notice I can’t hide my bitter disappointment At your flimsy grasp of enlightenment. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that i need justification? Maybe what you should be asking Is how it feels to be questioned. I long for the day when it’s no longer relevant I long for the day when it’s no longer a “selling point” This shouldn’t have to be a battle This shouldn’t have to be said But i stand on level footing I expect equal respect This shouldn’t have to be a battle This should’t have to be said I expect equal respect Nothing more Nothing less So i can’t hide my disappointment When you reduce me to my sex.
5.
Unrequited 04:28
I know This mess is The love overspilt from our hearts And that “god” says We should Clean it up With the thickest bleach and a bristled brush But will an ending ever be enough? When all the beauty lies In every action never taken Every kiss Every look Every love That didn’t happen. I’ve got to find the strength somewhere within this desperation It’s the first thing i need But it’s the last thing i want To have to grow even more resilient. I know This mess is The doubts overspilt from our thoughts And that ”god” says We should cover them up With glassy eyes and a frozen heart But still i take no action. But still i take no action When my disdain and my devotion Is simultaneous. Keep painting pictures of what could have been And i promise i’ll stay at a distance Where every inch of them can be seen.
6.
I promise you will never see a trace Of me ever being human again But i can’t keep it I can’t live up to it I crumble in the shadow of a perfectionist Cutting the corners of my heart until it has no edges Just a constant need to be covered in bandages Which restrain and remind me Of all my failures and wreckages. If love is a dream and i can’t get to sleep You better fucking knock me out And perform the lobotomy on me yourself. But wait for now while i still feel Both full of life And full of guilt With lips of tingling passionate rouge Make not one more integral move For your righteous tongue is covered in eggshells As it licks it rips these wounds. And though it bleeds with bad intentions I hold onto my heart. I held onto my heart.
7.
It appears as though you have a voice But it’s just a wall to scream at Give them a platform And they will talk over each other Unable to agree on the bigger picture Give them a mirror And they will remain silent and transfixed By painting their own portrait To resemble an activist. You sure put the ‘act’ into political action And while you talk about change You don’t make it happen Trapped inside the venting system Losing the steam required to gain real momentum. It appears as though you have a voice But it’s just a wall to scream at Instead we argue within the microcosm Trading all our information For filters and a podium. Stop carrying that square blanket You’re so easily distracted Scrolling and scrolling But never scratching the surface Of how much freedom we sacrifice When we pour ourselves into a device Just to hold the bragging rights. We pale against the unnatural light Of a screen the sucks up most of our lives. So invested, yet so dissatisfied. If you mean what you say Then step away from stage Use the voice that cannot be wiped. If you mean what you say Then step away from the stage Lose the voice that’s frustratedly typed. Walk away from your image And take it outside.
8.
Lily 03:21

credits

released September 25, 2015

Recorded and mixed by lewis johns - www.lewisjohns.co.uk

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